on gender and greetings

I wrote this after my first week in San Ramón. I'm posting it now because I think it's interesting to think about different cultural greetings and how gender mixes with that. Things have improved, as I've gotten to know the people better and we've established our standard greetings, implicitly. But it's still something I think about and that is definitely not natural or comfortable for me.

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In Costa Rica, the greeting between two women or a man and a woman who know each other is a kiss on the cheek and a hug. Men get a handshake.

This custom was never explained to us, really, and I know that even if it had been, I would still be a little lost trying to navigate its uses.

In San José it didn’t really come up, except for the first awkward greeting at the airport with my family. But after that we weren’t really interacting with ticos outside of the admin and teachers at ACM. But here, in San Ramón, it’s a whole new ballgame.

I’m spending my time volunteering and doing a study on the Red Cross. So I go to the office each day and interview people and am getting to know the workers and read the equivalent of my EMT book in Spanish.

In the US when you (or I, at least) get comfortable in a place of work and know people, a standard greeting is a smile and “Good morning. How are you?” Here, though, from what I have gathered, it’s a “Buenos días, pura vida” combined with a cheek kiss and hug.

This just makes me uncomfortable. Firstly, it bothers me in the states when people hug when they literally saw each other 12 hours ago. Unnecessary. Secondly, I like my personal space, thank you. Thirdly, with the guys, I have no idea what kind of signals I’m sending.

The gender divide and relationships are different here, in a lot of ways that are hard for me to understand, as a foreigner. But I feel like if I go in for an enthusiastic cheek kiss, it would seem very forward of me. But maybe that’s just the reserved American in me? But then I think I come across as stand-off-ish when I don’t go for that, which makes them uncomfortable, which makes me more uncomfortable. What I really need is a female worker to go in five seconds before me so I can see how she would act. Or to not have different standards for men and women, but that’s a whole other battle.

on daily life

I have a routine here. I like routines and patterns. And I like that it was all my own making; the guy in charge of the Red Cross left my schedule completely up to me and my program doesn’t care, as long as I get my work done.

The first few mornings I was at the office promptly at 8am, but that is long gone. I quickly realized that there was no point, as no one was even there to be impressed by my early start. So now, I get to sleep in (Heaven, after my 6am wakeup call in San Jose. Made me rethink all my moaning about 8ams in Grinnell.) until 8:07 to have an 8:30 breakfast with my host mom and sister. I leave the house to walk the three blocks to the Red Cross around 9am.

I greet the workers I know and smile awkwardly at those I don’t. I have not figured out how to gracefully introduce myself or exactly what Spanish words to string together in that situation. So my current approach is to wait for someone else to introduce us. For the next hour I approach random community members and ask them questions about their knowledge and usage of the Red Cross. Most people are quite nice and willing to give me a few minutes of their time.

The paramedic arrives at 10am and I’m always hoping that he feels like teaching me something new (so far it’s been intubating and EKGs) or showing me cool videos of medical stuff or on-the-job things. He thought the ginormous snake ones were hilarious, I did not. When he’s around, I’m truly in heaven.

I sometimes help around the office by sorting receipts or helping to sell people coffee or going to find someone who might actually have an answer to a more complicated question. At noon, I head back home for lunch. I eat with my mom and any other family members who happen to be home and then rest/sleep/talk to friends until about 1:10. I head back to the Red Cross (up the very, very steep hill I live on in the hottest part of the day: not my favorite) for an afternoon of much the same. A few interviews, reading the Spanish EMT book, learning how to read EKGs, playing foosball (I am terrible), talking to the employees, helping with English homework.

Around 3:30ish I have coffee and bread with all the medical staff that are around. This is usually my favorite part of the day. Sitting around a table, chatting, laughing, feeling like a part of something.

Between 5 and 5:30 I head home. Shower off the sweat of the day, enter the data from the day’s interviews. Work on job applications. Talk to friends who are still awake (Europe is far). Tell my host mom about my day. Dinner’s around 7. Afterward we watch some TV and then I head to bed.

It’s simple, and when I distill it down into a few paragraphs, sounds kind of boring. And honestly, some days it is. I’m waiting for approval to be on the ambulance and sitting in the office is not exactly my dream. Sometimes it’s interesting to interview people and sometimes I hide from everyone because people are scary. But it’s good. 

on food

Breakfast: Gallo pinto (The Costa Rican dish of rice and beans. At first I was excited because rice and beans mean protein for a vegetarian, but now I genuinely am excited to eat gallo pinto. It’s yummy! And nothing, I promise you, like the stuff you get in the US.) and huevos revueltos (Scrambled eggs. Yay more protein!), with café and maybe some fruit or a tortilla or cheese. I’ve finally adjusted to eating a bigger breakfast than just a bowl of cereal and milk. Not sure I’m going to be able to go back to that. Although I do miss my Crispix.

Lunch: It varies. Since my host family’s house is such a short walk from the Red Cross, I’m able to come home for a hot lunch each day. There’s always rice and beans. Sometimes sopa (soup), sandwiches, picadillo (I still have no idea how to explain this. The base is whatever kind of vegetable you want, chopped into small pieces, usually cooked, along with some other veggies and spices.), it varies day by day. And always a delicious frescado de fruta (Fruit juice. Careful: Ticos do not drink jugo. They drink fresco.) made from fresh fruit. My favorites are lemon, pineapple, and blackberry.

Afternoon snack: Cafecito y pan (coffee and bread). Good bread, good coffee, pura vida. People here can’t get over the fact that I don’t like natilla which everyone seems to love and smear all over their bread. It seems to be some mix between butter and cream. I stick to plain butter and sometimes some guava jam.

Dinner: Beans and rice or gallo pinto, always and forever. Like lunch, the rest varies. Some recent favorites have been mashed and fried yucca with cheese in the middle and prensadas de queso (Quesadillas. I could not get over the fact that even though the word is a “Spanish” one in English, that’s not what they use here.). More frescado. Cooked veggies (I have eaten more broccoli here than I had my entire life.).

Overall, the food is great. Dinner isn’t horribly late. Thanks to my friends rice and beans and eggs, I get good amounts of protein. I have learned so many new words for food in Spanish. And tried so many new foods! Buen provecho.