week two

I've been here a little over a week. It feels like much, much longer. Which I suppose is understandable, given the dramatic changes my life has undertaken in that amount of time. I am still having moments where I look around and ask myself "What am I doing with my life?" The concept of up and moving to another country for four months is very strange in some ways.

The good news about this week is that we only have four days of classes. Early (early early) Friday morning we leave for a quick field-trip to I'm-not-sure-where. But it apparently involves a chocolate farm, consumption of large quantities of chocolate, sloths, and some type of forest-walk. So I'm excited.

Most of my program is built around the completion of an independent resarch project that each students designs, carries out, and writes up with the help of an advisor on a topic of their choosing. The first draft of our proposal is due Thursday, which I was fine with, until I looked at the example one and saw that it's 14 pages. ack. Little confused about how we're supposed to go from our first five sources due tomorrow to a draft two days later, but whatever.

It's raining. Which is apparently very strange because it's summer here and never rains this early. I'm just hoping I won't get too wet this week on my walks to and from school.

Spanish is harder than it was the first week. The first week was mostly me being super excited that my Spanish was actually passable. That I could communicate with people. But now that we've talked about the easy, simple things, it's harder. Even in English, I am generally a pretty quiet person except with the people I know really well. In Spanish, I struggle to come up with things to say, and then simplify them back to tenses and constructions that will be comprehensible outside of my brain. It's hard to have a censor on myself like that.

But then I come here and I talk to friends and family and the wonderful world of the internet. Which is helping to keep me sane, but I can also feel how it disrupts my Spanish. Once I'm thinking in English, it takes my brain a little bit to transition back into Spanish. I'm not going to give it up, but the balance between the two is definitely on my mind. 

musings.

Comparisons between here and India are inevitable. I'm doing my best to not let them overwhelm me and to be present here. But, for kicks, here's what I've noticed.

--Being able to speak even a little bit of the language makes such a huge difference in my experience. Being able to respond in kind when someone greets me on the street feels huge.

--A lot of the students were initially overwhelmed by the traffic, but for me it was so tame in comparison to India. There are lanes! People stay in them! I don't fear for my limbs when trying to cross the street. And I'm mostly grateful that they drive on the right here. I still haven't shaken the habit of looking right twice, so now I just look both ways an excessive number of times, which probably isn't the worst thing in the world.

--I stand out here so much less. White skin is not the norm, but it's definitely not the rarity like it was in India. And since I'm living here, I'm getting to know my way around and definitely am starting to feel, and hopefully look, a lot less like a clueless tourist.

--I have not been asked for my picture once. It is fabulous. Of course, as I was walking home today thinking about all this, I got catcalled, but I just smiled. That's something I get in the US and while it's definitely not my favorite, it feels manageable.

--I am definitely out of the Grinnell bubble. As small and limiting as it can feel sometimes, it's a wonderful place to be and I miss it and the people.

--I don't know how to end this. I've settled in here way faster than I thought was possible. Things are generally quite good. And my family has a cat, so it will all be okay.

day one

It began at a few minutes before six, so that I would have enough time to eat breakfast and get ready before heading out the door to reach my institute's office by 7:30.

We had a morning full of listening to thrilling information about emergencies, policies, and expectations. Then we headed out for lunch, before a (long, long) tour of the University of Costa Rica campus.

My favorite part of the day was when my host mom arrived to pick me up. It was such a relief to see a familiar, kind face who was going to take me back to what is rapidly becoming my home.

There are 14 total students on my program, some who already knew each other, but most not. We started the day speaking to each other in our halting Spanish, but by the end had mostly devolved back into the easier English. In these first few days of orientation, it's not a big deal, but soon it will become an expectation to speak only in Spanish.

They all seem very nice, most of us eager for our Spanish to improve and to begin our research projects. I'm not sure how well I'm going to be able to get to know them, with the limiting factor of language from both ends. We shall see. Definitely different from my long, easy conversations with friends back home.

Tomorrow there's more orientation, plus the Spanish tests. I was so anxioius about these tests before arriving, but now that I'm here, and can say that I've survived multiple days with a family that only speaks Spanish, a test seems very small in comparison.

To get to school I walk through the neighborhood for about 10 minutes, catch a bus (my host mama originally told me that any bus would work, but she keeps qualifying this, so here's hoping I don't end up on the wrong side of town), hope the traffic isn't too terrible, hopefully remember the correct stop, and then walk a few blocks to the office. The money is a whole other challenge, so my grand plan is to just hand the driver the smallest bill I have and hope he gives me the correct change.

That's my not-so-thrilling news.

It already feels like it's been going to fast in some ways, but sometimes I can't believe that I signed myself up for four months (129 days, but who's counting) here. 

Arrival in San José

I had the beginning to my next post all composed in my head. It would be a funny apology for writing yet another "pre-departure" post. I would talk about all my feelings about leaving and fears and excitement.

But I never quite got there. Mostly because I was in an impressive state of denial. Study abroad had sounded really fun and great until I started getting down to the details. Like how it would involve living in another country for four months, speaking another language, small things like that. So I settled into and thoroughly enjoyed my winter break. My family and I adopted two new fuzzy kittens. I watched TV, read books, and slept in. And shocked myself and my friends with how late I started packing.

It didn't hit me until I looked out the window of the plane on our final descent into San José and saw that the terrain was actually quite hilly, even bordering on mountainous. Which sent me into an utter panic that I had not packed any walking type shoes besides my beloved black converse. I proceeded to picture the conversation with my host family in my head about why I, the stupid American, had not thought to bring such an essential. Halfway through I realized that I had no idea how to say the word "hiking," so I resorted to saying that these were not shoes for walking, but for walking. It went poorly.

Luckily, everything in me calmed down the second I saw a very nice looking women holding a clear sign with my name printed on it, right where she was supposed to be.

I said hello to her and her husband and 10 year old son and we all did a weird handshake/hug/cheek kiss combo. (That would be a helpful thing to include in the arrival materials, btw: cultural customs around greetings.)

But anyway, it went fine. My brain started pulling out Spanish words that I hadn't thought of in years, and I even managed to make them think I was competent when I said "única" instead of "sola." Don't know why that's impressive, but I'll take it.

My stomach can handle rice and beans, they were very happy when I told them I liked their house, they have a cat and he likes me (!!!), I learned that I have a short commute compared to many of the other students, and I did not in fact break their shower door. It's the small things.

Suffice it to say, I survived. I might even continue to do so for another few days. 

Delhi

I have one more day here. I get on a plane at almost midnight tonight and begin the journey home. 

Physically I’ll get home midday on the 9^th, but who knows when my brain will catch up to me. But I am already making plans for when I’m home to go see friends.

We’ve spent a lot of time here in Delhi, but somehow it doesn’t feel like that much. It was broken up by a quick trip to Agra in the middle to see the Taj Mahal. Back in Delhi we’ve visited Lodi Gardens, the India Gate (which it turns out is actually a war memorial, which I was not expecting), driven past the PM’s house and the parliament fancy building places.

Obama will be visiting India for Republic Day, January 26. I first learned of this from some shop owners in Hassan, who immediately proclaimed “Barack Obama” after hearing that we were from the US. Made me feel like an egocentric stereotypical American, who knows nothing about other countries but who expects everyone else to know about her country of origin. Regardless, it’s a big deal and people are excited. It’s a big political statement that he’s making by visiting and people are well aware of this. We drove along the parade route, which is lined with thousands and thousands of bleacher seats. Delhi police gates are everywhere in preparation.

As a city, I feel like I’ve seen both the fancy side, with big boulevards and trimmed trees, and the other side. What some might call the “real” India. But I think you have to see both and everything in-between to begin to get a taste for this city, let alone this country.

Delhi is quite fond of roundabouts (with inexplicable stop lights in the middle), unlabeled one-way streets, and speed breakers. Temples and mosques are everywhere. Markets specializing in everything from car parts to gold and silver to wedding stuffs, to clothing and shoes. People everywhere. Cars and rickshaws and buses and bikes and trucks and motorcycles (my ideas about how many people can fit on a motorcycle have been blown away). Signs that call for people to “Obey lane discipline” make me laugh. I realize when I look around that my pictures and words will never be able to come close to capturing the essence of what I am experiencing. It takes all of my senses plus some to comprehend it.

Now I’m rambling. I think this is me trying to make sense of it all. From the tiny details like the color of our taxi driver’s hat (blue) to the wide overviews that climbing a mosque’s 40m minaret afforded me. It’s a lot. And I think that’s about all I can say for sure right now.

The Taj

The Taj Mahal.

I was actually freaking there.

It was quite surreal.

Moonlight viewing was wonderful, as it was quiet and peaceful and we just got to stand there and stare at it in awe. A half hour of staring is a good long chunk. So then today we got to go in the daylight (again, no mist, the weather gods were smiling on us) and get all the details, up close and personal.

Wonderful guide, lots of good information, some cheesy tourist pictures, and still time to sit and just be in its presence. Because it is truly stunning. 

Moonlight viewing. We were so lucky that the fog cleared enough for us to see it!

Being an embarrassing tourist.

on photography

I chose not to bring my camera with me to India. It was a decision I went back and forth on, but ultimately decided that I would be more comfortable without it. As a tall, white, blond, young woman, I stick out here. I felt that adding a fancy dslr to the mix would only make me more of a target. And as impossible as it is, I do like to pretend that I can sometimes blend in a bit, and I didn’t feel that that would be possible to do with my camera.

I’ve borrowed my parents’ cameras a few times. I love taking pictures, but it has also reaffirmed my decision to not bring my own. It is so easy for me to get sucked into framing the perfect shot, messing with the iso and exposure. Sometimes it’s so much better for me to just take in what’s in front of me. To accept that I will never possibly be able to capture everything that my many senses can. So I just turn in lots of circles, walk slowly, and enjoy it while I’m there. And let that be enough.

With that being said, here are some grainy cell phone shots I've gotten: 

My bed in Bangalore

A chilly arrival in Delhi

The autos that are everywhere